A JOB LIKE ANY OTHER
by Connor Nathans
The story of a workplace experience that left one with a lot to learn from
I once worked an office job that was a decidedly menial one, and it could even be, most of the time, overtly menial, though it did, in the end, teach me a lot.
I got the job through responding to an online advertisement, and I was hired to be half of a two-person team. On my first day, I was introduced to my fellow team member, who had been working there for under a year, and I also met another coworker who happened to have been hired for the same job as me. Evidently, though not told to either of us, we two new-hires were, in actuality, in the final stages of the interview process, during which the two of us would unknowingly compete for the one job. This fact of the process was made clear to me the following Monday morning, when my fellow new-hire did not show up for work, and it was made clear to him a few hours earlier that same Monday morning, when he received a phone call telling him he was fired.
After a few months of my being on the job, it so happened that the other half of my two-man team had planned a wedding and, as is customary, honeymoon. Well, a few weeks before this need for a few weeks off, the man was fired, and he was called early enough in the morning that he was able to call me before I got into work that morning myself. I should have quit that morning, and I nearly did, but I did not.
I decided that, if nothing else, I would demand a raise. I immediately went to my boss with my request, but he was too busy to talk that day. My boss was not in the office the next day, but the following day, I repeated my request, and I was told that a meeting would need to be set up to discuss the matter, which could not be done that day. The next time I tried, I managed to schedule the necessary meeting, having been told that a week out would be the earliest available opportunity. The day before the meeting, it had to be rescheduled for a day later, and on that new day, my boss called in sick, but the next day, just after 4:00 pm, the meeting happened.
My demand for a raise was met with disbelief that there could be any reason for it. In particular, to my argument that I was now a single person being asked to do a two-man job, I was answered that management considered it a one-man job. A one-man job? I asked, confusedly. A one-man job, I was answered, confidently. Haven’t two men been doing it? I asked, skeptically. A one-man job, I was answered, confidently. Weren’t three men doing it? I asked, disbelievingly. A one-man job, I was answered, confidently. Couldn’t anything be a one-man job, then, if declaration alone is definition, to the point that every aspect of the known universe might be a one-man job? I asked, laughingly. A one-man job, I was answered, confidently. A one-man job? I asked, incredulously. A one-man job, I was answered, confidently.
Due to its late start time, the meeting had to be under an hour, but in the end, I was given the raise I had asked for, contingent on my doing the full team’s work. As I was the only member of the one-man team, I did not think much of this extra wording, and I considered the matter closed, with myself, after a long fight, being the winner.
It so happened that a new office assistant was hired at this time. Generally, I only saw the woman when I made my way into the greater office are that surrounded my boss’ desk, which was not often, but she and I had a good working relationship. In fact, she took an interest in my work, and because I was now the only person doing my one-man job, she wanted to be able to at least do some of it, should there come a day when I might call in sick or need to leave work early. Eventually, at her insistence, I began regularly passing off to her the most menial of my day’s menial work.
Well, this so happened to be the time when I received my first paycheck after winning for myself a raise. My attention, of course, was on the paycheck, and when it came, I found it to be no altered than it had always been, as if I was still part of the two-man team that had been doing my one-man job. This time, a meeting with management was much easier to obtain, and they were in better moods this time, as well.
To this second meeting, I brought physical proof of my paycheck, in case the evidence of my missing pay was needed. Instead, the meeting opened with my being questioned about whether I had been complying with the contingency of my raise. I quickly answered in the affirmative, but I was immediately questioned on the slice of work I had been training the office assistant in, to which I replied at length, going so far as to attempt to reason with them on the silliness of not considering my one-man job as being one man due to an outsider regularly doing the most menial of that work, which still often required help, in order to train her for emergency purposes while keeping her fresh in what she might be needed to step in and do. The reply to me was short, and it concluded our meeting. I was told that my raise would never be official until its agreed-upon conditions were met.
Mr. Nathans hails from a number of places in the Midwest. He now lives and works in Miami, Florida.