AMERICAN HALFLING

by Shay Martin

The all-thought-none-spoken complaint of our times, in the vein of the Guess Who’s “American Woman.” Where that song concerns a certain type of woman, this work is about a certain type of man.

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American halfling’s gonna mess your land;
American halfling, you’re a breed so bad.
We say A; they say H.
We say M; they say A.
We say E; they say L.
We say R; they say F.
We say I; they say L.
We say C; they say I.
We say A; they say N.
We say N; they say G.

American halfling, get away from we;
American halfling, just let us be.
Don’t come nosin’ ‘round my ear,
And best keep your eye-line from here.
You hold tight your Lord of Rings;
I put my mind to finer things.
Now, halfling, I said keep away.
American halfling, listen what I say.
Don’t come movin’ in next-door,
And best not even apply at my store.
You sure do fill our park’s past dark;
What’s all this you’re installin’ as ‘art’?
American halfling, stay away from we;
American halfling, just let us be.

We say B; they say Me.
We say Y; they say Me
We say E; they say Me.

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Mr. Martin is a 2016 graduate of UT-Austin still living in the Austin area.